Meaningless

this truth
drives me insane
as if the wounds
of careless words
goes unhealed

I wait patiently
for the moment to come
wrapped up in apprehension
I feel
so undone

I know relief is there
just beyond the door
but sometimes I wonder
when the wind whispers
if there is more

my tears
know nothing
but this pain
a waking nightmare
of useless despair

I once believe
in the golden promise
your honeyed words
like a balm
how foolish I was

It feels as though I’m trapped
in the web of wants
needing the truth
with the substance of cotton candy
too sweet to be real

so I wait
stretched taunt and thin
for the adoration
of your love
never knowing it was false

how could I
loose myself so utterly
to the nothingness that is left
a wake for fools
will I be mourned at last

unbidden they come
like rivers of hot pain
as I wrap deep inside
my misery
hidden from all except the night

in moments of clarity
I lie to myself
as if pretending
will make it all go away
as if the pain is nothing

how I wish it was nothing
wish that I could be
so suave and carefree
harden myself against the softness
that always brings me down

how foolish can I be
letting your falseness
lock onto me
when words are as meaningless
to you
as me