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Could Have Been

when the words no longer flow expression becomes stilted sliding along the edge of something yet blanking towards the pain of nothing he thought to trap me in a cage of words to mute my voice with his subtle interest vindictiveness was never my forte neither was virtue yet the pale walls scream like a blank page I know why the caged bird sings boredom propels it to seek in art what is missing why does it seem like everything is missing funny how silence rings in your ears or is that the blood pumping the need for words scratching at the surface of my skin is love suppose to feel like this the bed squeaks its answer his body next to mine hot and sweaty my brain screaming to be released he thought to trap me in a cage of words wrapped in a licentious promise going nowhere fast and furious yet here I am again with nothing between me and the paper but a pen that does not move and a memory of what could have been
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Meaningless

this truth drives me insane as if the wounds of careless words goes unhealed I wait patiently for the moment to come wrapped up in apprehension I feel so undone I know relief is there just beyond the door but sometimes I wonder when the wind whispers if there is more my tears know nothing but this pain a waking nightmare of useless despair I once believe in the golden promise your honeyed words like a balm how foolish I was It feels as though I’m trapped in the web of wants needing the truth with the substance of cotton candy too sweet to be real so I wait stretched taunt and thin for the adoration of your love never knowing it was false how could I loose myself so utterly to the nothingness that is left a wake for fools will I be mourned at last unbidden they come like rivers of hot pain as I wrap deep inside my misery hidden from all except the night in moments of clarity I lie to myself as if pretending will make it a...
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Tomorrow's Appeal Chapter 10

April 3, 2005 Quincy, California It was broad daylight the first time Neville kissed her. The sky was dark blue; the sound of a particularly loud lawn mower reverberated through the air as she lead him to their destination. Josie’s palms were sweaty. She had never actually brought anyone here before – never wanted to bring anyone here before. Neville must have noticed her distress as they crossed the lawn, because he reached out a hand and wove his fingers between hers. Josie gave him a hesitant smile as they walked along the immaculate green lawn, dotted by rows of inlaid granite snuggled close to the ground. Her heart pounded loudly against her chest – so loudly she was sure Neville could hear its strangely rapid tattoo. He gave her hand a quick squeeze as she slowed their pace. Without a word, he pulled her close to his body, brushing back a few strands of hair from her face. Josie’s breath caught in her throat. His eyes – such beautiful eyes – scanned her face as his head bent clos...
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