Twisted Deviant

I never knew until my heart ached with the simplicity of this moment never knew how this could be until my heart was almost breaking past the point of no return I wander where you lead hoping that I don't stumble the light is shining just beyond if I dare I am scared of these feelings unvoiced scared that I am just imagining reality is a harsh mistress and I fear the coldness of alone My heart trembles with this fear yet in my bones I know you I know the subtle line of your jaw the easy gait of your walk the silk feel of you hair as is brushes against my skin I recognize the inherent honorable spirit residing deep within your breast my heart quickens to the same beat as yours yet for all these things I feel I still fear and it chokes the tears from my throat I want to spend each morning waking beside you your arms around me the smell of your skin the first thing I breath I want to feel you apart of me you flesh to mine deep inside until we

yet it burns still in the hollowness of these days scratching the surface of what I could not comprehend before burning bright into the cornea of my obsession it is a simple thing so I have been told as I walk across the fire feeling the bleeding welts from within as natural as breathing yet I suffocate on these thoughts it is as if I am two beings one that lives for each subtle moment one that hides and quakes from the light I live with fear deep in my breast and choke on the hopefulness that rises like a gorging emotion sweeping precariously close to some definable truth the knowledge knocking back and forth it consumes with a hunger that shames me still I have been without for far too long though I had not known I was devoid so I scratch at the surface digging deep feeling the pain of imaginary ghosts the echoing cries of humiliation beckoning as if to lead me down that path again but I am resolute

I am lost so utterly lost in these feelings I can feel you like a deep spark so far inside that it hurts to breath sometimes It is scary this deep kernel sometimes I push it aside tell myself that it just isn't true yet at night when slumber comes deep and unbidden you are the last thing I think of It's funny how you have become like second nature to me and all I want is to feel you

Looking for a room desperatedly This is a pretty cool site to look at if your looking for some Harry Potter fan fiction. Lord am I quickly becoming an addict :oS

Parabolic Reflections - R.J. Anderson An interesting place to check out and read, if anyone is a Harry Potter fan, especially in the fan fiction realm.

and it becomes louder and louder, disjointed anomalies of quiet noise hissing in the back of your ear you try to hide from the sound, but it follows, always following until all you hear is the clicking and the buzzing until you’re insane the noise is ceaseless even when you pound on your ears, the blood flowing in painful rivers of red, it keeps careening, softly tickling inside your head it echoes on and on until you want to beg for mercy, beg for silence, beg for it all to end only it doesn’t end it never ends it only lessens as the days wear on, as the moon wanes in the black sky until her face is no longer visible I use to think everyone was like me, that everyone could taste the scent of the wild as I got older, I learned I was an anomaly monster some would whisper less than human perhaps I am less than human though I can think and I can feel god how I wish I couldn’t feel sometimes this life hurts too much the pain is unbearable almost as bad as the constant

it seems as though the words have left me those comfortable friends I wrapped myself in when times were cruel as the world often is and I am left standing naked before you in this moment that has no end every second begs with a pregnant pause the truth of these moments and I cannot hide from your gaze nor decipher your thoughts and I feel as if I am falling no longer protected hidden from the world I had no desire to partake of yet now I find myself thrust into this tiny moment of broad uncertainty edging towards something unfathomable would that I could claim bravery for I am a coward at heart quaking in fear for fear has long been my true friend yet now it grips me with powerful talons and I feel shredded to the core cynical and jaded am I or rather was so sure of my imperfection so sure of my unworthiness I am still very sure and it pains me to know the truth of myself yet wishing to be somehow better than I am more deserving of what I am still so unsure I do not know where this tho

this truth drives me insane as if the wounds of careless words goes unhealed I wait patiently for the moment to come wrapped up in apprehension I feel so undone I know relief is there just beyond the door but sometimes I wonder when the wind whispers if there is more my tears know nothing but this pain a waking nightmare of useless despair I once believe in the golden promise your honeyed words like a balm how foolish I was It feels as though I’m trapped in the web of wants needing the truth with the substance of cotton candy too sweet to be real so I wait stretched taunt and thin for the adoration of your love never knowing it was false how could I loose myself so utterly to the nothingness that is left a wake for fools will I be mourned at last unbidden they come like rivers of hot pain as I wrap deep inside my misery hidden from all except the night in moments of clarity I lie to myself as if pretending will make it a

feel my fingers gently lightly oh so softly trail down your chest my palm resting just where your heart beats smells like a piece of heaven dark masculine entirely erotic a mixture of spices that teases and tempts the pallet lightly my lips touch nibbling tasting searching against yours drinking the moment arching needing to be closer body to body heart to heart scorched by the feel and wanting to burn more languid in slow patterns my hands learn the symphony of you bold one moment retreating the next in this opus of seduction contrast masculine feminine curves yielding against hard contours delightful differences sparking the want of more delight in the way you respond soft moans tense muscles tightening nipples as my mouth explores descending down my eyes on yours my fingers fumbling in this passion filled moment feeling you hot hard sleek entirely male as my hand cups fingers tightly fisted in my hair as I run my tongue just against the tip slowly circling until my mouth surrounds w

They say that time is subtle; a shifting change on this raging rock of space, but that is only true for those who are immortal. Everyone else is swept up in the maelstrom of seconds, minutes and hours that march into endless days, months and years. Nothing is immortal, not even the Sun, with its intense blazing glory, or the swirling orbs of light dotting the skies at night, though we gaze into the past as we watch them. Magic was once an irrefutable part of the natural order, life ebbed and flowed around the spirit that harnessed the energies flowing from every corner of the cosmos. It was simpler then, everyone could harness a piece, knowledge was fostered and apprenticed out, but like everything in life, that too faded with time. Now magic is a superstitious belief, the deities ignored, their hearth’s devoid of tribute, much as the world is devoid of hope.

She watched him under the veil of her eyelashes, suddenly feeling subdued and embarrassed. Her palm stung. A bitter reminder of what she had done; the pink imprint of her hand slashing across his pale cheeks. Her heart tattooed dangerously against her chest, as she watched him move closer to her. She raised her hand to strike again. “Once was enough,” he whispered in that low silky voice, his hand grabbing her arm. She looked up into his face. Big mistake. His eyes were hard and black.

it’s a quaking darkness hidden deep lilting bruises that hide beneath the surface thin white scars of crisscrossing memories deep as a river he comes to me brushing past the pain he slides into me like a song and I feel him plant his seeds fear is the demon simmering below twisting the guts until nothing but pain exists it’s an old tune playing seductively in my ear the steady rhythm holds close the song repeating over and over sometimes it comes in shallow breaths lungs squeezing out the air inside the music swells in gasps and groans of movement a symphony of agony is this madness that has come to me for he cannot be real the ground he sews is infertile desolate memories are the death they defeat the light in darkness they multiply growing larger until the morning is met with screams my mind has gone he has become more more than he could comprehend I yearn for that garden he must grow past and future are irrelevant for the mind

when the words no longer flow expression becomes stilted sliding along the edge of something yet blanking towards the pain of nothing he thought to trap me in a cage of words to mute my voice with his subtle interest vindictiveness was never my forte neither was virtue yet the pale walls scream like a blank page I know why the caged bird sings boredom propels it to seek in art what is missing why does it seem like everything is missing funny how silence rings in your ears or is that the blood pumping the need for words scratching at the surface of my skin is love suppose to feel like this the bed squeaks its answer his body next to mine hot and sweaty my brain screaming to be released he thought to trap me in a cage of words wrapped in a licentious promise going nowhere fast and furious yet here I am again with nothing between me and the paper but a pen that does not move and a memory of what could have been

it gnaws deep within my breast a beating demon screaming as I tear into the corner hiding like some callow coward afraid to face the mirror no longer recognizing the face that stares out this body which was once mine feeling odd disconnected what once was my shield my shelter my salvation from the pain the illusion I present to the world the gruesome mask to push away the world has become my prison it is my curse my rage turning into snakes slithering through my hair my price for protection as flesh became more than I can sometimes bare instead of turning men into stone my visage only deaden interest but this was the plan my penance a shroud of defense this was what I desired Athena was not instrumental in this perversion of myself I created this mask of my own volition I had become use to my existence the seclusion a balm to my weary soul hiding from the terrors turning to stone the insecurities of my foolish heart how I often wish it too could become cold marble the barren field did

He stood, in the cool darkness of his dungeon, smelling the vapors of the potion just beginning to simmer. Without checking the volume laying open to the right, he added just a pinch of mandrake root, then stirred counter clockwise four times. The bubbling liquid turned a bright shade of yellow as he lowered the fire underneath. With one last glance at the cauldron, he turned back to the worktable and began cleaning up the mess. Each ingredient was stored meticulously in a corked container, and then placed in a specific spot on the shelf across the room. Once the last ingredient was placed on the shelf he moved back towards the work table and picked up the wand that rested next to the volume on the table. With a quick little mutter, the door to the cupboard swung shut, sealing itself against all intruders to this dark domain. He turned his attention back to the worktable, grasped the book with firm white fingers, and then glided to the back of the room where a small door opened

too true too true she would mutter as I puffed on a cigarette drinking a glass of claret as if all the problems could be summed up in subtle tiny words he does not know and I freely admit he does not for how can he know when I do not communicate it is so simple to say all men suck they know nothing nor do they care but that is only a balm to sooth our guilty souls it is harder to say that we are simply afraid does it always have to be this hard mumbling to myself as I take another swing she just laughs hard it’s tinkling and cold much like I think sex would be with her thank god I haven’t a cock but still she is my friend though I am not sure why my eyes scan the room they are all the same dancing and swaying in chaotic rhythm a hold over from our tribal days it is erotic sex on the floor in full view and I feel like a voyeur watching yet I cannot tear my eyes away she sits beside me licking her lips she has found prey god pity the poor fool I itch to run away to log into the electroni