Twisted Deviant

a complicated state of grace when you and I are two parts of one whole tugged in diverging directions until we are render inept ineffectual as the blade of grass bending in the wind at the mercy of nature never strong enough to break broken shards of who I am poking through the cool veneer of who I want to be as I hide from myself I am not who I thought I would be I wanted love once upon a time when I was young and did not know any better reality is a harsh mistress or rather love is a fallacy my mantra soothing my wounded pride as love pushes me aside addicted to carnal delights I often mistook the moment of a soft kiss for more than what it was too needy in my dreams hungering for one second of the divine chasing the dragon until I grew dizzy and bereft I am locked within the tower of myself peeking out at the world through the window of my soul the panes are cracked scratched and scarred by life by who I am and who I want to be and everything in between as I disappoint everyone one

She’s been avoiding me these last few days, as if hiding herself from me will actually protect her. I have no doubt her brain has supplied all sorts of intriguing ideas of what will happen now that she realizes I know her secret, so I let her have this illusion of protection. It isn’t until I find her in a secluded corner of the Restricted Section, shelving books by the light of one dim candle, that I decide this has gone on long enough. I move silently behind her, close enough that I can almost feel the heat of her body. She whirls around, sensing my presence. I watch as she draws her lower lip in, nervously chewing on it as she watches me with haunted eyes; her nostrils flare as she sucks in an uneasy breath. I lean in close and whisper: “You and I have business to discuss.” I watch with some measure of satisfaction the way her eyes go large; I can literally see myself reflected in them. “We – ah – I have nothing to say to you,” she responds primly, donning an austere air even

It isn’t that I’m lost or perhaps I am it depends I suppose on the movement of the moment when words are but a kiss away and time speeds up until it thrums like the whispering flow of an exhaled breath. He was sunlit days the warm glow of desire burning in my breast when all I could think about was the taste of his skin and the feel of his flesh until I went mad with wanting. Insanity is a lost art unappreciated by those too normal to understand that we all are insane on some level or is that wishful thinking I do a lot of that. He wasn’t real they whisper as if I hadn’t already known my heart may be broken but my brain still works most of the time. When is love ever real oh I imagine there are some who grasp the brass ring as they whirl around on the wooden pony bright and shiny capturing it close to their heaving chest bright red lips curling in laughter still most of us deal with table scraps. Life is a banquet of indigestion broken dreams and tarnished pennies the stars have explod

Excerpta Well this looks intriguing, let’s see if the promising beginning (in latin no less) actually bears fruit.

Chasing Time It is raining as I cross the street just in front of the Three Broomsticks. Hardly an astounding feat for London, much less winter in London. I’ve been quite good lately – at least, quite good compared to what I was just a short time ago. I’ve not needed to… get away in almost an entire month. A record, I think. I walk into the empty hotel room, feeling incredibly wet and tired, though those are only inconveniences. My mind is wholly on tonight. I place the perennial bottle of potion on the table beside the bed as I make my way to the bathroom. Once inside, I quickly strip the wet clothes from me, hanging them on the shower curtain rod so I can cast a drying charm on them. It isn’t long before I hear the door opening. I wait, not wanting to see the transformation – this may all be an illusion, but it is my illusion. I open the bathroom door and watch him stride towards me. It never fails to amaze me how utterly perfect the Polyjuice Potion is; I want to devour hi